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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

What Are You Lookin' At?

the cashier at target did not say hi to me. usually they say hi to me. the cashier at albertson's didn't turn around when i asked her if her aisle was open. did she hear me or not? the first thought that comes to mind is, they're acting this way because of my headscarf. before the headscarf i'd probably think they were having a bad day or just jerks in general. but now it's always gotta be about the headscarf. okay, it's not that serious. as long as i remind myself to stay cool and not paranoid, it's better if i just go ahead and keep thinkin' they're just jerks having bad days. anyhow, when someone is friendly to me or smiles at me now, i get a bigger amount of joy from it. it's like, "wow, this person is nice. this person is not disturbed that i look different from the norm," or even better, "this person knows i'm different, and therefore is trying to make me feel welcome regardless."

anyhoo...i'm glad i am a married stay at home mother. if i was in high school or had a out-of-the-home job where i had to see many many people every day, i'm sure my experience would be a lot more difficult. as a stay at home mother, i can choose where i go, how i often i go, and if i go. that helps when i'm having a "don't look at me cuz i know you're looking at me day--a bad day."

a good day is just going about my business with good intentions and thinking everybody else is doing the same.

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