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Saturday, April 21, 2007

Baby Steps

Day 3.
I know now that doing this full-on is going to be very difficult for me. My two main limitations are my own view of the headscarf and my anxiety issues. I'm not just concerned that others will see me and think, "she is odd," I myself think IT IS ODD! And my way of dealing with this idea is to be very self-conscious and feel very trapped.

No one in my immediate family wears it. Only one or two of my friends do. And I am an extremely shy person (I don't talk very much, especially in groups of 3 or more). And I am SO NOT the life of a party. I'm a wallflower.

So there it is. I think the headscarf is odd. And I'm embarassed by it. That's just me. Those are my faults.

If I'm going to continue this without chucking the whole thing, I've got to start further away from the full-on pin it under your chin style. My style might not meet all the requirements of the hijab, but I have to start somewhere. A loose scarf over my head. A large hat with maybe a scarf around my neck or one of those fake turtle neck things. I'm making it complicated. But unfortunately, for me, it is.

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