Fish

Thursday, April 14, 2011

All My Secrets Away

I've had a couple of  well-meaning persons give me their opinions and advice regarding the fact that I STILL struggle with wearing the scarf, that I STILL complain about wearing it, and that I STILL don't understand what it means to wear it.

They say it's simple and should be easy if I just make up my mind once and for all. Funny thing is, I DO make up my mind, but my mind keeps changing. I wear it fine when I go out with other adults, but when I'm alone...it's not that I feel more free---it's the opposite--alone, I feel more scared and vulnerable, so I don't wear it just fine. I feel bad about that, I do. Still, I have to justify it to myself: my anxiety is too high, my experience is too difficult.

I get defensive. I get down. This blog is stupid. Why am I writing this blog? This blog is...done.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Scarf Ace!

I am a nonmuslim girl, but I think I do understand how you feel/ recognise your confusion. Now it happens to be so that I came across a touching article just before entering your blog. I will link to it, because it is a muslim site with A LOT of writing on the very same subject that you are struggeling with. I hope it makes it easier for you to read through some of the articels there:)

http://www.igotitcovered.org/2011/04/13/respect-required/

Please do reconsider to shot the blog down. I have just recently came across it and I think you have a lot of interesting and important things to say!

With respect/an interested new reader

Edana said...

I've read your blog for awhile now. I've loved reading about your process through this and other issues. If the blog's done, that's cool...but know that I've enjoyed reading and following along. Thank you!

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