What I'm Not

If you don't already, I'd suggest you read the comments that are left at the end of some of my posts. They are often full of more tips and insight into the world of hijab. Also, there are links to other blogs.

I had a random thought the other day. I've said before that the idea of hijab as a way to "hide a woman's beauty," doesn't sound completely accurate to me. I think hijab should be thought of as more of a way to "hide/protect a woman's sexuality." That's why hijab can be applied to both men and women because both need to protect their sexuality and not just flaunt it to strangers. Beauty is a more natural thing that often can not be hidden behind hijab. It is sexuality which is often played up & abused and leads to corruption. A woman can wear head to toe burqa but if the wind passes by, her figure can be shown--but that is a natural beauty and one she can not hide. But a woman wearing skin-tight, skin exposing clothing is showing off her figure on purpose which is something that requires one to ask: Why? For young girls who naturally have attractive figures, it is very tempting to throw on a tight, trendy t-shirt and feel good in her young self, highlight and straigten her silky hair---I don't blame her really. I've been there. But that's where hijab, or even just the headscarf comes in. It's a way to temper that temptation and keep some boundaries in a world that makes it so easy to let it all hang out. And that's also why I think the blogs devoted to looking stylish with hijab are fine as long as there is a line because I think there is a difference between looking stylish, fashionable, beautiful and looking sexy, sensual, sexual. Anyway, everyone has his/her own view of modesty--this is just my random, rambling thought.

POST 2:
Hmm... I need to keep a baseball cap in my car. That way, if (when) I ever have another anxiety attack [ which is what happened the other day when I went to this one store alone on a bright, hot day. I noticed a lot of single young people (mostly men) entering and leaving the store. I would describe the area as "ghetto," which I've noticed often has more young men talk to or randomly commenting on strangers as opposed to a fancy smancy store full of old ladies. Now if I had been wearing something tight and "sexy," I would have had the same type of anxiety. I was all covered up in my mommy clothes, but the headscarf was causing me anxiety as well, so I let it off of my head half-way to feel less of a target for attention)] that causes me to take my scarf down like I did on July 4 (see post: "Said It All,") I can at least put on a cap and maybe just wrap the scarf around my neck. Of course that is not full hijab, but at least it's something better than nothing. A cap with a scarf on the neck would look odd, but I don't have a problem looking odd (most of the time). I just feel vulnerable (i.e. a target for unwanted, negative attention) at times looking..."foreign," or like a fish out of water, which is how I feel sometimes, walking into certain areas alone with headscarf wrapped Muslim-style. I don't mind looking alternative because that's what I am, but I do mind looking foreign because that's what I'm not. Anyway, the first thing I think of on those days where I do the half-hijab is this blog. I think, how can I write a blog about wearing a headscarf when I don't wear one today! Well, it's all part of the struggle for me. So I'm still here.