A Head with Class

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Article of Faith and Fashion!

Here is another interesting article I found, linked from this other blog:

Hijab Style: http://hijabstyle.blogspot.com/

The picture is from Ari Versluis/ Muslim Girl Magazine

Muslim fashion designers moving beyond the traditional
By Robb Young

Tuesday, September 18, 2007
LONDON:

Punks or ravers they certainly are not. Discrete and devout, their kind of fashion statement could not be further from the razor-sharp mohawks or day-glo accessories of those counter-culture types. But young Muslim entrepreneurs around the world are making their own fashion statements, modestly, challenging the status quo in their communities as well as stereotypes outside.

In an ever-influential global pop culture that idolizes the shortest of skirts and catwalks where flesh can overshadow fabric, Muslims from Sydney to Saudi Arabia who love fashion are taking matters into their own hands.

"When I first took up the hijab seven years ago it was a struggle to find any fashionable clothing. Dressing up was an ordeal to the point where I'd have to mix and match parts and pieces of clothing from several stores, just to come out with a single outfit," said Sarah Binhejaila, a Saudi who started the made-to-order brand Niyaah a year ago when she moved back to the Middle East after studying fashion abroad.

Instead of a two-layer system in which a uniform outer garment covers Western clothes, Binhejaila and other designers like her are creating alternate looks in a single layer that she calls "complete wear."

"Historically, Islamic clothing for women across the Arabian Peninsula was always rich in design, color and embroidery. But this rich history of Islamic tribal fashion was threatened to become extinct due to the enforcement of the black abaya," the long over-garment and matching head scarf, she said. "I'm attempting to revive that festive spirit by using the richness and appeal of modern fashion within the boundaries permissible by Islamic dress code."

The British designer Sophia Kara made just such a statement in Leicester, England, last year when she showed her line, Imaan Collections. One model wore a hooded abaya with a matching niqab, or face veil, in shocking pink over a salwar, or loose pants, printed with an ornate English floral motif.

Specialty fashion houses and companies starting distinct ranges intended for fashion-conscious women who observe hijab, which means either covering one's head or, more broadly, dressing modestly, is part of a much wider trend. Filling a market gap for products that either comply with Shariah law or that are simply more attractive to Muslim values is a niche that is attracting increasing numbers of manufacturers and retailers. Toys like the Fulla doll, a modest Barbie of sorts, and comic books with Islamic superheroes like "The 99" are as much a part of this sector as the traditional domains of Islamic finance and halal, or permissible, food.

"The hunt for the Islamic dollar at the retail end of the value chain is now starting to heat up. But it has a very long way to go until it is anywhere close to being fully realized," says Abdalhamid Evans, senior analyst at Imarat Consultants, a Malaysian marketing company that specializes in the global halal sector. "You can just about squeeze clothing into the broad concept of the halal market, in that clothing is an offering to the same consumer base as halal consumers - the same people who eat halal food and use Islamic financial services."

Kamarul Aznam, the Malaysian-based managing editor of the bimonthly Halal Journal, tracks everything from halal fashion to pharmaceuticals around the world and knows well the inherent difficulties in trying to quantify this market. "There is no such thing as an official statistic or trade data for the global Muslim fashion industry but there are guesstimates, which we use regularly," he says.

Assuming that 50 percent of the world's 1.6 billion Muslims dress modestly and that, conservatively, they spend $120 a year on such clothing, Aznam estimates that the global market is worth at least $96 billion a year.

"And as for non-Islamic countries such as the U.K. or France, since they have a higher purchasing power parity and clothes have a higher price tag, I would imagine it to be higher, spending up to $600 a year," he said. "Assuming the U.K. alone, which is home to around 1.5 million Muslims, the figure could be in the region of $90 million to $450 million a year."

At that rate, the 16 million Muslims in the European Union could create a clothing market worth $960 million to $4.8 billion a year.

Ausma Khan, chief editor for Muslim Girl, a young women's lifestyle magazine that was started last year in the United States, believes that dedicated brands would have added appeal for many Muslim consumers. "The potential to design for Muslim women and girls and to market to this audience is enormous," Khan said. "Imagine the clothes you see in most contemporary and popular fashion outlets - Muslim girls and women are buying them and then creatively filling in the gaps. But they would absolutely buy the same clothes with higher necklines, longer hemlines, a more voluminous fit and so on," she said.

Even in fashion sportswear and activewear, start-up companies like Hasema from Turkey and Ahiida from Australia have tickled market observers with the advent of functional Islamic swimwear. Aheda Zanetti, Ahiida's founder, trademarked her designs as the "Burqini," playing off the words bikini and burqa to describe her two-piece loose-fitting tracksuit.

"I think the Islamic fashion market is going to explode in the coming years. There are signs of it already," said Gulsen Aydemir, editor of Modest Flair, a U.S.-based Web site that sources style trends and news for its Muslim readers.

"Muslim women's clothing has moved forward in leaps and bounds in only a few years in terms of both comfort and style. The most important change, in my opinion, has been moving away from bland, thick, polyester gowns called jilbabs, which were uncomfortable in hot weather and hard against the skin," she said. "But now, you can find Muslim clothing offered in every possible color and some that is chic and stylish, but still upholding the modest requirements of our faith."

The fact that Western-style runway shows have caught on as fashion weeks have mushroomed across Muslim countries also brings the worlds of designer fashion and Islamic requirements much closer to home. In addition to fashion weeks in Pakistan, the United Arab Emirates, Lebanon, Egypt, Turkey and other relatively liberal-leaning countries, there is change elsewhere too.

Even Iran, where the religious police closed similar events in the past, woke up to the idea last year, staging its first Tehran Fashion Week to promote Islamic dress (and not just sober cloaks like the chador). War-torn Afghanistan also held its first shows last year after the initial retreat of the Taliban regime, where designers like Zolaykha Sherzad and Isabella Ghidoni collaborated to swap the all-enveloping contours of the burqa for less restrictive looks, like the salwar qamiz, or two-piece pantsuit, and embellished robes with head scarves but not necessarily face veils.

While small Islamic fashion shows are cropping up in as varied locations as Leicester, England; Berlin; and Atlanta, the entrepreneur Raja Rezza Shah is poised to take the concept global. As director of the Islamic Fashion Festival, Shah pioneered the event for designers to exhibit collections specifically for the Islamic market. "We started in Kuala Lumpur, then Jakarta, so obviously the aesthetic has strong influences from here but next year we will also be in Dubai and Abu Dhabi," he said. "Eventually we want to make a presence in Europe and America."

Malaysian and Indonesian designers, like Itang Yunas, Herman Nuari and Ida Royani, design only Islamic wear while the others participating in the festival are part of the wider fashion fraternity in those countries where Islamic-wear is just one range of their collections. Not all of the designers showing at the festival are necessarily Muslim themselves but, Shah says, what unites them is taking the Islamic fashion business seriously.

"At Dubai International Fashion Week, we have not targeted any particular sector, but rather seek out all designers who are interested in showcasing their work to a larger audience," said Nayla Yared, spokeswoman for the event, which had its first show this summer. "We have had designers like Suhaila Alyamani and Noora Hefzi who have collections which conform to both traditional values and Islamic tenets. Another young designer, Rabia Z, works exclusively on Islamic fashion."

Besides transforming traditional outer garments like the burqa, jilbab and abaya into more practical, individualistic versions through the use of new textiles, colors, prints and embellishments, other designers are ready to start stretching an Islamic outfit's loose silhouette. Some are even prepared to begin styling separates and accessorizing in unconventional ways.

But just how elastic one's perception of modesty is, however, depends on an individual's interpretation of Muslim doctrine and it is this variation that fuels debate among both designers and consumers in Muslim communities. As a result, the question of covering one's head is still a flash point in countries like Turkey and France today, as is covering one's face with the niqab in Britain and the Netherlands.

'We believe that minimum and basic Islamic dressing begins with the covering of the head. The less skin and shape exposed the better. But we provide a range of design from the minimum to the maximum covering, based on the different levels of understanding and readiness," Shah said. "Our tagline is, 'Discover the beauty of modesty' and not 'Cover up or you'll go to hell.' It's about women experimenting with ways to feel happy about themselves while holding on proudly to their faith."

Aydemir defines it as loose clothing that covers everything except the hands, face and sometimes the feet. "Muslim women want to dress modestly in a way that is still in sync with the styles of the cultures they live in. Those living in non-Muslim countries don't want to hide their Muslim identity and, at the same time, they don't want to completely stick out in a crowd," she said. "It's a tricky niche, but if you know what you're doing, the sky's the limit."

Khan's view of modesty is broader, but she agrees about the local dimension: "In North America, for example, the majority of Muslim women who would self-identify as Muslim, do not wear a head scarf. But you'll certainly never see them in a belly-baring top or a miniskirt either. That's what designers need to understand to really capture the potential of the Muslim market."



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Notes:


Copyright © 2008 The International Herald Tribune | www.iht.com

Article of Faith

Balancing Religious Sensitivity, Fashion Sense
Young Women Follow Islam's Ancient Tenets on Modesty -- but With a Modern Twist

By Sandhya Somashekhar
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, August 29, 2005; B01

"Isn't this so cute?" cooed Hiba Khan, admiring a loose-knit vest glimmering with a sequined brown collar at Tysons Corner Center's LVL X clothing store. Sexy, the 21-year-old Fairfax City resident admitted, but that's easily remedied with a long-sleeve top and a properly fastened head scarf.

In the hip young Muslim crowd, modesty is always in.

"I usually try not to buy anything too flashy or too revealing, but yeah, I want to look nice," she said while at the mall one recent afternoon for a little back-to-school shopping.

With summer coming to a close and classes about to start, she and a half-dozen other college students were in search of "sister-friendly" clothes -- attire that conforms to Islamic dictates but appeals to a contemporary sense of style and beauty.

But sticking to Islamic standards of modesty isn't always easy, and it doesn't always come naturally to girls raised in the United States, where MTV and Hollywood are more likely than religious texts to set fashion standards. Choosing to follow Islam's clothing guidelines is often the result of a deep desire for cultural identity or religious soul-searching -- especially for young women such as Khan, who as a teenager decided on her own to adopt the clothing standards of her religion.

That doesn't mean she and other young Muslim women want to put aside a desire to be pretty.

"We want to look beautiful, but we don't have that pressure to be sexy," said Khan's friend Khadija Amjad, 21, of Centreville, dressed in a sleek black-and-purple ensemble that stretched to her ankles. The outfit was topped by a pink-and-purple hijab , or head scarf.

Estimates of the number of Muslims in the United States vary from 3 million to 7 million. About 150,000 live in the Baltimore-Washington area, according to the American Religion Data Archive.

Muslims, men and women, are required by their holy book, the Koran, to be modest in their attire, Islamic scholars said. How the guidelines are interpreted varies by geography and family tradition, from simply avoiding form-fitting or revealing clothes to covering oneself with a head-to-toe burqa .

"The whole thing goes back to the presence of God," said Akbar Ahmed, chair of Islamic Studies at American University. "You need to be in a state of decorum. You must ask yourself: How would God like to see me?"

Rika Prodhan, 22, a recent graduate of George Washington University, never worried too much about her form-fitting outfits and cascading hair when she was growing up in Houston. But as she matured into an observant young Muslim woman, a nagging voice in the back of her head grew louder. She recalls it telling her that the Koran was unambiguous -- the body, including the hair, should be well covered.

While in college, she gradually adjusted her wardrobe to better reflect her religious convictions, eventually purging it of clothes that revealed her ankles or wrists. Finally, after much introspection, she began wearing the hijab, a big step that she knew would forever change the way she was perceived in public.

"I tried to find every reason not to wear it," she said. "But I came to the conclusion it was like listening to your parents. We may not know the wisdom behind it now, but we'll realize it later."

Her parents, she said, actually were troubled by the decision, fearful that she was becoming "too Muslim" and isolating herself from mainstream society.

Today, though, they respect her decision and are glad she wears the hijab, which she said she sees as a sacrifice for God.

These days the hijab has become a flashpoint of controversy over women's rights, religious extremism and terrorism -- a symbol in some eyes of more radical Islam. The French government banned the hijab in schools. But for Khan, Amjad and Prodhan, it's an expression of cultural and religious identity as well as a fashion accessory to be matched with a stylish handbag or jacket.

Modest doesn't have to mean ugly, said Sarah Ansari, co-owner of Artizara.com, a San Diego-based company that sells modest clothing with a modern flare.

Her site features wide-leg pants, tops that go up to the neck and down past the buttocks, and tailored jackets that cinch in a bit -- but not too much -- at the waist. Her best-selling item, she said, is a flowing tie-dye skirt festooned with sequins, a staple offering at any youth-oriented mall clothing store.

"I don't think there's anything in Islam that precludes women from looking attractive or professional," she said. "No one says you have to look like a bag lady. Actually, the Prophet [Muhammad] was known for wearing perfume, being clean and very well dressed."

One Web site, http://www.thehijabshop.com/ , offers a line of stretchable cotton athletic hijabs that are slipped over the head or fastened with Velcro rather than wrapped. Another, http://www.hasema.com/shopen , sells full-body swimsuits for women.

And dozens of sites selling trendy, modest clothes have cropped up in recent years, not only for a Muslim clientele but for orthodox Jews and conservative Christians as well.

Ansari, who is Muslim, said her customers range in age from 13 to 65 and come from a variety of backgrounds.

For Amjad, Khan, Prodhan and their friends, mainstream stores such Banana Republic and H&M offer enough choices. The latter, a Swedish retailer, is especially popular because its up-to-the-minute European styles tend to cover more of the body than standard American offerings, they said.

During their shopping trip, the young women pointed out their favorite styles of the day: peasant skirts, billowy gaucho pants that fall to the ankles and tunic-style tops that end far below the waist. They tend to buy jeans a size bigger than their actual size, fix ankle-baring skirts with a chic pair of boots and pair sleeveless tops with concealing blazers.

They will, however, occasionally buy an outfit that doesn't follow the rules, saving it for "sisters-only" -- or women-only -- events such as like sleepovers or bridal parties.

The hijab adds another accessory to the mix, they said, and has the bonus of covering up a bad hair day, Khan joked.

In all seriousness, she said, the hijab is a garment for the body and the soul.

"It lifts you up as a person," she said. "You're seen more as a person than that girl with her hair flowing around."

© 2005 The Washington Post Company

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Cool Cold Combo

The other day it was so cold (finally) that I was able to wear my cool hat/scarf combo. It covered all my hair, ears, and neck so I was fully covered. But as my regular readers can guess, I was glad to blend in and not look so foreign. I just looked like someone dressing warm with mismatched funky stylin' layers. It was fun.

Homebody, mind, and soul.

I've always had days when I feel like staying home, not going out anywhere, I had it in my school days and part-time work days. I'm sure we all have those days. Especially pregnant women and mothers, I'm sure. So anyway, I've been having those days a lot...seems like almost every day! It's not like I'm depressed...it's mostly just this feeling of not wanting to "deal" with things like traffic and other people. And then my mind always goes to the scarf---I think to myself, well, it's the scarf that is holding me back. It makes me too self-conscious. It makes things too complicated. And I think it just goes back to me not wanting any attention, because I don't feel as self-conscious about the scarf when I go out with other people. It's just when I'm alone. But it's still on. Although today was a bit funny. I felt really conscious of seeming like a "foreigner" today. I neglected to wear an underscarf with my slipperly silky scarf and plus I neglected to pin it, thinking it would stay in place if I just tied it under my chin (I had a high neck shirt on). Well, it kept slipping off, so I decided to find a pin and fix it right there in the middle of Wal-Mart. (oh and don't get me started on wal-mart, i'm almost embarassed to say i go there, but i digress...) The smart thing would have been for me to go the fitting room to fix it, but I was impatient and thought I could fix it discreetly next to a mirror in the ladies clothes section. Well, it slipped off entirely and I had to start from scratch with it. So there was my uncovered head in public after at least 6 months of it being covered in public...it felt weird but mainly because I didn't want anyone to notice me. Anyhoo...that's it for now. Here are some more cool hijab fashions:

Photo Ops

Well, I think I am done saying what I want to say. I will post pictures of stylish hijabi fashions that I find on the internet. Please send any copyright info to me if needed. Thanks!

Too much or Not Enough?

Scarf Update:

It's still on. It has come to mean several things to me.

1. A symbol that I am Muslim.
2. A rejection of secular society's insidious demands on a woman to trivialize her life into perfect beauty and exhibitionism.
3. A simple religious commandment.
4. A symbol that I want to be seen and treated as pious person among my family and fellow Muslims.

Some days it's 1 and 2. Some days 3. Some days 1-4. Some days just 4. Some days--- not a one--and I just go through the motions.

But it's still worth believing in it.

I think everyone has a religion--a belief system that makes life worth living--or not.There are those of us who have an organized one. And there are others whose religion is...
...politics
...music
...artistic expression
...nationalism
...racism
...love
...beauty
...new york city
...nature
...poetry
...history
...family
...human potential
and
...the study-hard, work-hard, to earn wealth and/or fame religion...
everyone has a belief system that makes life worth living or not.

There's that famous song by the band, R.E.M. called, "Losing My Religion." One interpretation of the song is it was inspired by a waitress who seemed to be glum and just going through the motions of her job. "She's losing her religion," they thought...and they wrote a song about it...

"Life. It's bigger. It's bigger than you. And you are not me. The lengths that I will go to. The distance in your eyes. Oh, no, I've said too much. I haven't said enough."

And there is this poem, a part of which I will end with..."Song of Myself," by Walt Whitman:

Listener up there! what have you to confide to me?
Look in my face while I snuff the sidle of evening,
(Talk honestly, no one else hears you, and I stay only a minute
longer.)

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

I concentrate toward them that are nigh, I wait on the door-slab.

Who has done his day's work? who will soonest be through with his
supper?
Who wishes to walk with me?

Will you speak before I am gone? will you prove already too late?

In Over My Head

AM I IN OVER MY HEAD(SCARF)?




Lately, my husband and I have been watching our two children run around in a grassy area with little hills and trees and neighbors walking their dogs. I've been wearing a long flowing skirt, basic black shoes, a long-sleeve cotton shirt, and a two-piece al-amira style headscarf (also kind of flowy). As I stand there on that hill or march on the grass (avoiding the mud and dog poo), I feel like I am straight out of that photo from "Little house on the Prairie." I don't like it. I want to be more sophisticated like the cool-fab second photo above. But I know, it's really not important, and I should get over myself.

But it's like that time I had a government job after college. I was in a serious and responsible position. I wore conservative clothes, of course. But I felt I needed that extra something...So I bought and wore a silver-beaded choker-necklace that helped me keep my...you know...rock star edge.

I don't want to look matronly. I want to look hip. And so...

I get this uneasy feeling inside.

Why? Maybe because I'm still not a cheerleader for this headscarf, because I still think twice before going out on my own because I still feel self-conscious, because I'm still very vain, and because I still need to be a better Muslim (need to establish regular prayers, study Islam more, etc).

and...

I still don't consider the headscarf/hijab as a way to conquer all vanity.
I still don't think the hijab is a gaurantee against people judging me for something other than my mind.

still...

I am 100 % sure the Holy Quran mentions a modest code of behavior and dress women.
I am 100 % sure that all Shia and (majority Sunni) Islamic scholars specify the use of headscarf to cover hair, ears, and neck for women.

but...

My main ignorance is in the study of hadith (the narratives of the Prophet, his family, and his companions)...so I am only 75 % sure of the use of a headscarf for women as specified in hadith. So, with a measured amount of doubt I will say that it is an obligation in Islam to dress with hijab of headscarf and body covered.

...But I am not "in love" with hijab, nor do I feel a strong passion for wearing it as many other Muslim women do. I think that the headscarf HAS become a symbol for Islam in many ways. And that symbolism is complex. For example, if I had been a student studying at university in Turkey when they banned the headscarf in public institutions, I would have removed the headscarf and continued my education. I cringe at the thought of those who will say I value education over religion because of that example...

Nevertheless, here I am...

and...

Basically, if the message I send while wearing hijab is...I am a Muslim, a member of the religion of Islam, which advocates the dignity, integrity, and protection of woman...and I want to be pious in a world that isn't... then I'm glad.

And that's all I can say. For now.

I dare say? a Q & A!

Here is another viewpoint on the hijab that I think not only is expressed well by its author, Sara Padidar , but is also shared by many other women and men, Muslim and non-Muslim alike. The following is taken from an online discussion group with Ms. Padidar's reply following the discussion question:

QUESTION: I thought this would be a good discussion to start because once again I see to many pics [on facebook.com] that people think are hijabi pics but do not qualify. What I thought is the whole body with the exception of the face and the palms. So the neck needs to be covered right?

Here is Sara's reply after others responded to the original question with opinions that stated only the face & palms were allowed to be seen, no make-up allowed, and no jewelry permitted as part of "hijab" :

Ok at the risk of causing a furor I am going to ask anyway (plus this is a discussion board):

I'm a little confused - surely the very quote that is on the front page of this group says exactly what needs to be covered -

"...And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms, and not display their ornaments..."

Surah Noor, verses 30-31

In short it has always utterly baffled me why people cover their head when the Prophet asked women to cover the ornaments of their bodies and to wear their head coverings over their bosoms - He did not say cover your head; but stated to wear the head covering instead of over the head wear it over the bosom.

When the Prophet was on this earth, He came to a people who did not wear clothes (esp women), women were traded (naked) and worth less than animals, women were a commodity and a possession. The Prophet was the FIRST Teacher from God to raise the status of women equal to men, and emancipate them. He was the FIRST Teacher from God to limit the number of wives a man could have. From my understanding of the Qu'ran, He did not ask they to be covered in such a manner to only show their faces and palms or any other ultra conservative interpretation that is now commonly subscribed to.

'except what appears thereof' means hair, face, neck, arms, legs, hands, feet. If is perfectly possible to dress conservatively whilst displaying all of the above.

'guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments' means just that your sexual organs including the breasts. Some may argue the midriff - and I would be inclined to agree, the navel of a woman is superbly sexual.

I dare say no one will agree with my comments by virtue of the name of this group [Hijab is for facebook too!]- but it would be nice if someone could logically explain to me why a conservative hijab is what is dictated in the Qu'ran.

I admire Sara's risk taking on a discussion board that obviously exists to discredit the term "hijab" by pointing out all the so-called flaws and mistakes Muslim women have in their dress. And I admire the way she asks the question and makes her point without intending to cause offense, but sincerely wanting an answer to a reasonable question.

I responded to her question, and we had a complex exchange of opinions, but here is my reply to her initial question:

...to answer ur question quickly, other than cultural custom, i think many hijabi women wear it because they follow the teachings of a scholar who is there to interpret the Quran in a way that the common person can not...so they wish to follow islam as accurately as possible, and often a scholar is better at making interpretations of certain verses in the Quran.

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=2577120825&topic=2862

Let Loose

NOTE TO NEW READERS: this is the most recent post. please start from the first post to understand my progress up to now. scroll down to the archives ... thank you!

unencumbered

adjective
1. free of encumbrance; "inherited an unencumbered estate" [ant: encumbered]
2. not burdened with cares or responsibilities; "living an unencumbered life"

WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University.


I've had a few days recently where I just wanted to let loose... just go out with a t-shirt and summery pants and my hair up in a pony tail...just wanted to ... feel unencumbered.... maybe it's the humidity...the heat...i just want it to be winter. winter is so cool, literally and figuratively. ahhhhh!

Well-Said!

This is an article on the topic of hijab that I found online. The author was gracious enough to allow me to post it here on my blog. I really enjoyed it and think it was very well done--well said!

from: http://www.hudakazi.com/2005/may/the.women.who.cover.html

The women who cover and the women who criticize them
On the one hand, hijabi women are dowdy and primitive, too feeble-minded to realize they're being oppressed by their misogynistic cultures. They never had a chance! To see what they could be! Oh, if only some cowboy could ride in on his F-14 fighter jet and give them some freedom.

On the other hand, hijabi women are a disgrace to the religion. Did you see what she was wearing? Why you could almost make out the faint shape of her leg if you focused so hard on her pants that you came dangerously close to passing out.

Back on the first hand, those hijabis need education and exposure to the western world. Even the ones who already live in the western world. Obviously if they think they're putting that scarf on their head voluntarily, they haven't been properly enlightened. After all, this is the twenty-first century. We've long since left such archaic traditions behind; now women can wear what they want!

But on that second hand (can't forget the second hand, by far the more irritating of the two), hijabi women, they're so hypocritical. Can't you see that wisp of hair peeking out from underneath the scarf? And her shirt is so short! Not as short as mine, but still, it only goes halfway past her butt. Can you believe it?

Yes, yes I can. And I have a message for all of you, so listen up, because I'm only going to say this once.

STOP JUDGING US.

Those of you who aren't Muslim and don't understand why we do it: We would love to sit down and explain it to you, or not, as you choose. But we don't judge your taste in clothing (or lack thereof) or your religious beliefs (ditto), and we'd really appreciate it if you didn't judge ours. We don't need your women's lib organizations staging an intervention on our behalf. We're fine. Really.

Those of you who are Muslim and wear hijab yourselves: You should know better.

And those of you who are Muslim and don't wear hijab yourselves: Exactly where is that leg you're standing on? If a hijabi woman bent down to pick something up instead of squatting (and the squatting rule applies to all women, thanks), I don't want to hear your horrified shock as you stand there talking to me in your short lacy sleeves and exposed head. Until you've gone through it, through the comments, and the staring, and the coveting of something beautiful you can never wear because it cuts just a little low or a tad too tight, I don't want to hear it. When you've made the effort yourself, I might care what you think about another woman's hijab... but I don't really think so because that's between her and God.

Sometimes a hijabi can use some guidance. We welcome that. It's like when I was sixteen years old, facing my high school graduation, and wanting desperately to fit in when I walked across that stage. I wanted to find some way around the hijab, some other way to cover my head, possibly by tucking my hair into the hat. (I tried it, but my head is so abnormally huge I had to get an extra large hat, and even then there was no room for the hair.) My mother said I could do whatever I wanted — wear it, not wear it — but that I should remember it was the decisions I made in times like this that really mattered. I wore it. The other hijabi who graduated didn't. All that meant was that I had the direction I needed; perhaps she didn't, but what she certainly didn't need was the resulting chatter throughtout the entire religious community. Guidance is not the same thing as judgement. Or criticism. Or gossip.

You non-hijabi Muslims understand why we cover, you don't do it, yet you're completely nonplussed about excoriating a hijabi's attire, even one unknown to you. Hello, pot. Meet the kettle.

And finally, to those of you, Muslim and non-Muslim, hijabi and non-hijabi, who stand beside us and support us every day, who fight for our right to wear what we want where we want, who understand when we slip up, and who see the person before the hijab: Thank you so much. You have no idea the strength you give us.

Fashion and Faith

NOTE TO NEW READERS: This is the most recent post. For this blog to make the most sense, it's best to begin reading at the first post. For older posts, please scroll down and go to the archives. Thanks.
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Yes, indeed that is celebrity, Jennifer Lopez, known for her flaunting of her sexuality--yet in this picture...looking strangely like a "fashionista" of Muslim hijab! And I've seen some early haute couture fashion which had a woman all covered up, including a dark hood over her head, ears, and neck--it looked very sophisticated. Interesting. It makes me wonder...could popular fashion ever include the use of a headscarf? Well, just look at the other photographs of fully covered women in Islamic fashions!

I reluctantly admit, since starting the hijab, I've become more interested in looking stylish, fashionable, "with-it." I suppose it is because I have a more limited selection and also because I have a greater self-consciousness about my "image" as not only a Muslim, but also a mother of 2 kids in a suddenly 30 year old figure!

Still, the question is: Is mixing faith and fashion a slippery slope?

Here is an interesting clip from NBC's The Today Show, aired July 15th, 2007. It showcases the young Muslim female's desire to fit fashion into her faith.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-iE0_rwvJAU&mode=related&search=

There is also a great support system in the social networking website, http://www.facebook.com for Muslim women who wear hijab. It offers many discussion groups which cover all of the topics associated with Muslim hijab, including one group called "Hijabi Fashionistas," whose members submit photos of their various styles of Islamic dress. It's not exactly "Muslim Vogue," but it has that touch of elegance, taste, and style.

And I find it amazing that this information and support is out there. It would have been a great comfort for me when I was in high school. But it seems that the generation under me is the one that is embracing and promoting the hijab with style and confidence! Some conservative Muslims would caution against these materialistic fashion trends--headcoverings or not! Hmm... Am I a conservative Muslim? Do labels really define the diversity?

Well, I'm still looking...and wanting to go shopping!

Deal Breakers

I mentioned in a previous post, "Fear of Commitment," that I had just that, a fear of committing to the headscarf. I would say that I am committed at this point. Still, I do want to let it be known that there are a few cicumstances that might cause me to re-consider the headscarf. These include:

1) GOD FORBID, another terrorist attack on America in the name of Islam and Muslims.
2) Pysical, verbal, mental, or emotional harassment.
3) Excessive anxiety
4) A work or volunteer position that would create #2 or #3.

I pray that I will never have to deal with such things again as I did before. And I'm so grateful that up to now, the results have been a positive and loving experience. Alhamdulillah (All praise belongs to God).

Thank YOU!

6,602,224,175

The world population is 6,602,224,175 (July 2007 est.). As I stated in a previous post (Common Ground...) there are billions of people in the world. WOW. And though I share common ground with many of them, I am also different from many of them. Obviously, I know.
And...
I watch the local news.
I watch the national news.
Heck, I even watch BBC news.
I know a bit about what's happening to the people of the world.
All the seemingly endless suffering is incomprehensible.
I know that this "hijab blog" is just a speck of dust in the entire universe of things that matter. So that's why I feel silly for updating this blog when I do, as if this topic isn't settled yet. I hear a voice (or voices) saying, "Ok. Wear your headscarf. Cover up your body. Just stop yapping about it! There's a world with problems out there--Think about them!"

So, okay. I know. Just wanted you to know.

:-)

At Face Value

I'd like to give a brief opinion on the practice of wearing Niqab or Burqah in Islam.
Niqab is the veil that covers a Muslim woman's face, usually leaving only her forehead and eyes visible. Burqah is an even more conservative type of veil, which has only a grid-like gauze for visibility.

I personally do not like this form of Islamic dress, the covering of the face. It is not an obligation in Islam, and I think it does more harm than good, especially in the West because it creates an image of Islam that is inaccurate and downright confusing to both non-Muslims and Muslims alike. Indeed, if I were to see a woman in Niqab, I would feel uncomfortable and shy away from her--this is despite the fact that I know at least two down-to-earth, funny, educated, Muslim women who have worn the Niqab in the USA of their own choice, and happily so. They want to do it. They think it will bring them protection in this life and a reward in the next. Still, I simply can not agree with them.

I mentioned in a very early post that I do not think that the purpose of external hijab is to A.) HIDE BEAUTY. I think that is impossible. I think it is to B.) PROTECT MODESTY / DEMONSTRATE PIETY & DIGNITY. To me, those are two very different concepts. Take a look at the third photo above of the woman who is showing only her eyes and hand---She is gorgeous, MashaaAllah (by God's Grace) and even the Niqab can not HIDE that. Yes, if you wear the more conservative Burqah, with just the gauze strip to see, you can hide your entire identity. But how does this fit in with Islam? And the face is the main source of human communication: emotion, age, gender, intention, etc...all come from the face.

If women choose to wear it, they probably do so based on their own conservative values and issues and statements and causes and culture and environment, not the Law of Islam. If they believe it is required, then they follow an interpretation of Islam that the vast majority of Muslim and Islamic scholars reject. If they are forced to wear it, then I completely understand their rebellion against it, if given a choice.

Here are some excerpts from articles and the links to their entire text:

"Niqab is different from hijab. Hijab refers to covering everything except the hands and face. Niqab is the term used to refer to the piece of cloth which covers the face and women who wear it usually cover their hands also...proponents of the niqab use this Qur'anic verse for evidence for the niqab.

...And when ye ask (the Prophet's wives) for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs.
Qur'an 33:53
The wives of the Prophet were indeed required to wear the niqab by this Qur'anic verse. This is because the special status they had meant they had to be kept clear from all gossip and slander. Scholars say that if the wives of the Prophet, as the best of feminine examples, were required to wear niqab, then the ruling falls on all women.

However, earlier on in the same chapter, the Qur'an also very clearly states that the Prophet's wives were not similar to other women.

O Wives of the Prophet! You are not like any of the other women.
33:32
Most scholars are in agreement that the verse about the screen, or concealing of the face, is only obligatory on the wives of the Prophet. They say the verses are a clear indication that the wives of the Prophet are much more restricted in their movement due to their political position, and that their code of conduct does not constitute a code of conduct for women in general."
http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/islam/beliefs/niqab_2.shtml

"In my experience, whereas a growing number of westerners are coming to accept and even respect the simple hijab (headscarf/hair-covering) as a symbol of modesty and good character in Muslim women, almost universally westerners find niqaab (the face veil) and the head to toe black garb that usually accompanies it sinister, frightening and repulsive. It makes them recoil from Islam.

As a western convert to Islam, I see first hand only too well among my family, western colleagues and old circle of friends the extreme harm face veiling does to the image of Islam and to the efforts to spread Islam in the west. The tragedy is that this phenomenon is so unrepresentative of Islam. The vast majority of Muslims do not consider this form of attire compulsory. Most contend that face veiling was, in fact, exclusively the preserve of the wives of Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) who, we are told in the Quran 33:33, "are not like other women" in order to give them privacy and protection in Madinah where they lived at the main mosque, not in private compounds."
http://www.islamfortoday.com/niqaab.htm

Feel free to comment please.

The Wrong Impression

At yet another wedding, I met a couple of friends (that do not wear the headscarf) that I had not seen in many months. One of my mom's friends saw me and said with surprise, "You're wearing hijab!" I smiled but was flooded with a sudden self-consciousness and blurted out, "My husband made me do it." Then we all had a big laugh. Hahaha. Then I think there was some mention of hijab being a good thing, and how I have a good husband.

Later...I came home and was thinking, "Why oh why in the world did I say that?"

First of all, it's so not true. My husband just encouraged me and said I would not regret it if I tried wearing the headscarf--and he was right. But he did not force me or "make me" do it at all. And secondly, 'why oh why oh why' did I--someone who is supposed to be somewhat intelligent in her awareness of stereotypes and prejudice and who is adamantly against perpetuating such falsehoods--especially the one that women who wear the hijab/headscarf are submissive to and oppressed by their husbands blurt out such a silly comment? What was I thinking? And what was I not thinking?!

So...
I think the reasons were, as I've mentioned in a previous post (re: I'm Nobody)...
1) some kind of resistance to wanting to seem self-righteous or 'better' than those who do not cover up. So I "blamed" it on my husband, something that in itself works for me with other Muslim people because then they get the (very true) impression that my husband is a religious man. And I think I want the world to know how devout he is, especially the Muslim world of my little community, because my husband is a convert/revert to Islam, and both my family and I want the community to know that yes, my husband is a true follower of Islam, which somehow validates my controversial, rare, and curious marriage to an American.
2) Part of it was my insecurity about choosing an "old-fashioned" (stereotype) and "unfashionable" (stereotype) way of dress and lifestyle amid a crowd of the glitz and glamour and pain-staking beauty that surrounded me. I think I felt plain and out-of-the-fashion-loop when I walked into the sea of lovely fabrics and glittering stones and iron-pressed, lovely hair.

Still, I regret saying what I did. And will try not to do that anymore. Because even though those people were Muslim, and even though they left with the good impression of my pious husband, somewhere in their minds is the idea that I, a Muslim woman, was forced to cover her hair by her husband--something that might possibly be a reason they do not want to cover up in hijab, as it was a reason for me--that association with being oppressed or dictated too. I regret saying it, even if it was a joke.

My husband didn't make me. He helped me. And I thank him for that. And I'm still surprised at how such a simple scarf can be attached to such complicated feelings.

Common Ground--Various (Non-Muslim) Religious Views on Modesty

I was intrigued by a religious, conservative, Pentecostal American family shown on a TV program. It was mentioned that the females followed a dress code, which really interested me. They described their modesty as dressing with feminity, meaning no pants and displaying long hair. This seemed different than the Islamic dress code, I thought to myself, since Muslim women are taught to cover their hair, not grow it long for all to see. And I think Muslim women can wear pants, although, some would disagree, still, the pants-vs-skirts issue is not so clear-cut in Islamic dress. It reminded me how the definition of modesty can vary not only from person to person, but from religion to religion. Still, I admired that family very much for their dedication to their religous values. I felt a common ground with them. I did a quick internet search on the internet and found:

1. "Our church teaches us the value of modest, appropriate dress. Men should dress like men and women must dress like women! The girls and I do not wear makeup, jewelry or nail polish. Pants are for men, so the girls and I only wear skirts to the knee and dresses. We wear our hair long and uncut because it represents modesty and shows our respect for both God and for Steve [the husband]. The rest of the world might call this strict or old-fashioned. To us, it is our way of life…Women should dress modestly! Girls must wear full length skirts and never pants. Shirts must cover the shoulder and not reveal their neckline. We never cut our hair because we believe that long hair for women shows respect for our husband and God." http://abc.go.com/primetime/wifeswap/episode/314/manual_hoover.html

2. "I cut my hair ! Big deal, it really is. In plain churches the Bible means what it says. Simple as that. And long hair is said to be a womans glory in 1 Cor.11:15. So in the world I walk in I just cut off my glory. It will grow and so its not the end of the world for me, but now my fickle mindedness will be remembered every time I look in the mirror. For those not walking in this "plain" world, this stuff must seem to silly and so strict. And there are things that when your heart is not right, and spoken about in a bad tone, seems so old fashioned and so old world. Dark ages type behavior, but it isn't...I am part of the United Pentecostal Church, so I also believe that your hair is your glory. I am 27 years old and have never cut my hair in my life. Believe it or not, I have never been tempted, but I know that others struggle with this."
http://morningramble.blogspot.com/2006/03/plain-life.html

3. "I live near the Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament and Our Lady of the Angels Monastery in Hanceville, Alabama. The Shrine is rightly strict about modesty in dress. But I see an unhealthy number even of elderly women who visit here wearing blue jeans and tennis shoes. As a young person I was exposed to this all my life. I thought nothing of it until I started reading books on femininity and masculinity and experienced what a good Catholic family should be. I married into such a Catholic family.
Not only women but children are dressing immodestly today, both in public and often at Mass where our Lord is present in the Holy Eucharist. It is difficult for a young man to stay focused and pure even at Mass when a young woman walks into church wearing immodest clothing. They have lost the sense of modesty. Both young and older parents need to monitor at all times what their children wear. Men and boys should also dress modestly when attending Mass. Sundays should reveal our best dress of the week. Dressing modestly and well for Mass reflects our faith that Jesus is present in the Eucharist and that He perpetuates His Sacrifice of the Cross.
If the President of the United States was coming to town and speaking at a convention dinner, to which you were invited, would you wear shorts, a T-shirt or a mini-skirt? I don't think so. Yet, in the house of God many ignore His Real Presence by the way they dress. Why do people act this way? It is because faith in the Real Presence of Jesus and the perpetuation of His Sacrifice of the Cross at every Holy Mass has been lost, or has been seriously weakened. G.K. Chesterton would say to this: "What's wrong with the world!"
http://www.fatimafamily.org/articles/husbandwife.html

4. "The 23-year-old author first heard of "modestyniks"--Orthodox Jewish women who withhold physical contact from men until marriage--while a freshman at Williams College. She was initially fascinated by the way in which they cleave to old ideals, especially amid a sexually saturated contemporary world. But more so, Wendy Shalit was aghast at how modestyniks are dismissed as sick, delusional, or repressed by the secular community. "Why," asks the author, "is sexual modesty so threatening to some that they can only respond to it with charges of abuse or delusion?"
In her thoughtful three-part essay, the author reveals an impressive reading list as she probes the cultural history of sexual modesty for women and considers whether this virtue may be beneficial in today's world--if not an antidote to misogyny. In an age when women are embarrassed by sexual inexperience, when sex education is introduced as early as primary school, and when women suffer more than ever from eating disorders, stalking, sexual harassment, and date rape, Shalit believes a return to modesty may place women on equal footing with men. She yearns for a time when conservatives can believe the claims of feminists and feminists can differentiate between patriarchy and misogyny and share in the dialectic of female sexuality."
http://www.amazon.com/RETURN-MODESTY-Discovering-Lost-Virtue/dp/0684863170

5. "Nancy Leigh DeMoss challenges Christians to ask themselves tough questions: Who decides what I will wear, and why? What message does my clothing communicate? And, how can I reflect the glory of God in my wardrobe?
Biblical, practical and motivating, "The Look" challenges women (young or older), parents, and teens to discover the Truth about clothing and modesty, and to make choices based on God's eternal perspective."
http://www.amazon.com/Look-Does-Really-Care-What/dp/0940110431/ref=pd_sim_b_1/105-9172474-6518015

6. "HOW SHOULD I DRESS?
In a vast majority of Christian churches - Protestant, Catholic, Orthodox - common sense prevails. Something a little nicer than jeans and sneakers is the norm, and a nice suit for men or dress for women is quite tasteful, but even something a little more casual is perfectly fine. Some churches are intentional about "come as you are" worship, jeans, sneakers and all; some affluent congregations "dress to the nines." But otherwise, assume anything from casual dress to a suit or skirt is acceptable.
Having said that, however, there are some kinds of churches with a more stringent "dress code":
Men - In Conservative and Orthodox Jewish congregations, men are expected to wear a yarmulke (skullcap) and prayer shawl. These are often available for use in the synagogue itself.
- In United Pentecostal Churches, men are expected to wear long sleeves, and no jewelry - not even a wedding ring.
Women - In some very tradititional Catholic and Orthodox churches (these are few, outside the mainstream of their own tradition), women are expected to wear dresses with skirts below the knees; heads are to be veiled (hats can be worn instead; veils are sometimes available for use in the narthex, or entryway, of the church); shoulders are not to be bare. In Mormon churches, women are expected to wear very conservative dresses with ankle-length skirts.
Again, these stricter guidelines are exceptions. In the vast majority of Christian churches, common sense is the prevailing guideline. It is best not to look slovenly, and one should avoid clothing with offensive or suggestive messages; beyond that, don't sweat the dress code."
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/51787/church_etiquette_and_dress_code.html

7. "The BYU Honor Code
Dress and Grooming Standards
The dress and grooming of both men and women should always be modest, neat, and clean consistent with the dignity adherent to representing The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and any of its institutions of higher learning.
Modesty and cleanliness are important values that reflect personal dignity and integrity, through which students, staff, and faculty represent the principles and standards of the Church. Members of the BYU community commit themselves to observe the standards, which reflect the direction given by the Board of Trustees and the Church publication For the Strength of Youth. The BYU Dress and Grooming Standards are as follows:
Men
A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, revealing, or form fitting. Shorts must be knee length or longer. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extreme styles or colors, and trimmed above the collar leaving the ear uncovered. Sideburns should not extend below the earlobe or onto the cheek. If worn, moustaches should be neatly trimmed and may not extend beyond or below the corners of the mouth. Men are expected to be clean shaven; beards are not acceptable. Earrings and other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas.
Women
A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, strapless, backless, or revealing; has slits above the knee; or is form fitting. Dresses, skirts, and shorts must be knee length or longer. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extremes in styles and colors. Excessive ear piercing (more than two per ear) and all other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas.

by W. John Walsh
What is immodest attire? Immodest attire is that state of dress (or undress) which flaunts a person's body and sexuality. There are four questions one can ask to determine if a particular outfit is immodest:
(1) Does the outfit create greater interest in the wearer by potential sexual partners? Most of us know that girls in two piece swimming suits (i.e., "bikinis") are more interesting to men than girls wearing modest suits. (See footnote 1) If more potential sexual partners pay attention to you because of your dress or undress, then you know you are being immodest. No one except a spouse has the right to arouse sexual feelings in someone.
(2) Does the outfit make members of the same sex more conscious of their physical inadequacies? If your dress causes feelings of inadequacy in others, then you know you are being immodest. It is not Christian conduct to make other people feel bad because they were not blessed with your physical bounties.
(3) Why are you wearing or buying the outfit? In reality, most of us know what is immodest attire. When we choose a two piece swimming suit over a modest one piece, we know why we are doing it. We want attention and appreciation for our body.
(4) Would the outfit cover temple garments, if you wore them? One of the purposes of the temple garment is to protect our modesty. If your outfit would not cover a temple garment, it is by definition immodest. Sometimes, it may be appropriate to wear such an outfit in special circumstances. On the other hand, wearing the exact same outfit outside of those special circumstances would be imodest. For example, it may be acceptable to wear a modest swim suit to swim, even though the swim suit would not cover temple garments. But it would be immodest to wear your swimming suit to go shopping at the mall or to a party.
Notes:
(1) It should be noted that two piece swimming suits (i.e., "bikinis") are not allowed in the swimming areas of Church-sponsored colleges like Brigham Young University and Ricks College."
http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/daily/modesty.htm

8. "Much is added to Redekop's analysis throughout the valuable essay by Marlene Epp, "Nonconformity and Nonresistance: What Did it Mean to Mennonite Women," in Changing Roles. Epp notes that women carried much of the burden of Mennonite separateness and nonconformity. She points out that the Mennonite doctrine of non-resistance affected women very differently than men. Mennonite women were not conscripted into alternate service during the Second World War; they were left on the farms and in the villages, where they often had the sole responsibility for their families. They were compelled to enter the work force. The war began a process that encouraged Mennonite women to break down the traditional barriers of separation and become more fully integrated into Canadian society. The most often cited symbol of this acculturation was the increasing use of English in the Mennonite community. An equally visible symbol for women, according to Epp, was the decline of Mennonite women's symbolic dress. Women were required to wear a bonnet and plain dress. The bonnet, in particular, was a symbol of separation from the dominant culture. No such dress code was imposed on men. Resistance to traditional dress began in the 1950s. By the 1960s traditional dress was in decline. Epp links this rebellion from traditional Mennonite culture to the "gradual secularization," or acculturation, of Mennonite society after the war." http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3683/is_200010/ai_n8919848/pg_8

9. "Other scholars in this section examine women's resistance to patriarchy and the impact of shifting gender roles on Anabaptist communities. Taking restrictive dress codes as their focus (as many of the contributors do), these authors note that dress codes frequently serve as a source of conflict. Steven Reschly argues that anxiety about the "flood tide of American individualism" in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries led male community leaders to tighten dress codes and familial roles for women, establishing what he calls "preservationist patriarchy." Kimberly Schmidt's study of a conservative Mennonite community in the 1930s and 1980s reveals how social anxiety over the Great Depression and Reagan-era farm crises challenged the community. While the economic hardship pushed Mennonite women into the public workforce, the move often led to an abandonment of the traditional cape dress and prayer covering. Women who worked "off-farm" found themselves at the center of a struggle between economic necessity and religious tradition and were often scapegoated as troublemakers. Both essays emphasize how communities invest their cultural identity and security in the plain dress of women." http://raven.bethelks.edu/mennonitelife/2002sept/reviews.php

So there you have a brief look into the religous views on dress from a few Non-Muslim individuals and groups. I'd welcome any comments from members of such religions.

And again, although our definitions and applications of modesty of dress differ for various reasons, I admire those groups that advocate modesty of dress, and I wish we could all see the common ground we stand on, instead of viewing each other as strange and alien and misguided. It's a big world full of billions of people. WOW.

Buckle Up, It's the Law

My husband and I were at a beach resort last year for his business trip. I walked around in jeans, sandals, and a long-sleeve white dress shirt (at the time, no headscarf). Still, I was self-conscious of the fact that most everyone else at the resort was in full summert-time-on-the-beach gear (e.g. shorts, tanks, bathing suits). But whenever me and my husband (who was also in jeans and dress shirt) spotted someone else with pants on, especially on the beach itself--we remarked: "Look, they're wearing pants too!" And it made me feel better. I am assuming that none of those people were Muslim, and I can not know if they were religious. All I know is that they chose to wear pants when they could have worn shorts like everyone else on the beach. For some reason, they were more modest than others.

Now, here are other examples of non-religious folks practicing modesty of dress:
1) A woman who loses a lot of weight but is still insecure about her body, so she covers up and dresses down by wearing loose, long, plain clothes.
2) A woman is against consumerism and the exploitation of women in society, so she covers up and dresses down by wearing loose, long, plain clothes.
3) A woman works in a male-dominated profession, so she chooses to wear conservative clothing to reduce any sexual discrimination or harrassment.

Ok, so...now the question is...

Do you need a religion or God to dress modestly, i.e. to have values that dictate your choices in life? From the above examples, the answer is NO. I once heard an atheist say "Just because I don't believe in God doesn't mean I don't have any morals." I'm sure a lot of people feel that way. They don't need a religion, a god, or a set of rules to be "good, decent, moralistic, polite, law-abiding citizens." They believe human nature is pure/good and does not need an organized religion to dictate and monitor and supervise their choices in life--including dress. They don't need a book of God's Laws to tell them how to make good choices and practice good behavior--because being good is its own reward.

...But laws and codes are meant to keep the bad seed from ruining it for everyone, aren't they? For the flawed ones...and aren't we all a bit flawed? Easily tempted? Easily distracted and curious?

What if there were no speeding laws? Some of us would drive slowly because we are "naturally" cautious, still most of us would get caught up in the power, freedom, thrill, independence, and the impatience to get where we want to go--or just go faster than the next guy--so we would go without care--without a seatbelt...And eventually hurt ourselves and others as we zip along and eventually meet disaster.

So yes, there are A LOT of people without a religion who practice excellent and productive human behavior. And I respect them for that.

Then there are those people who need a structured or organized religion to keep themselves "in check," because perhaps they're not so excellent or productive or decent in their "natural" state. And I respect their struggle.

I think all that is good comes from God. God is Good. And religion allows us to understand why and how that is.

So who decides what is "Good"? Is it just common sense? What is common sense?

**Common Sense
–noun sound practical judgment that is independent of specialized knowledge, training, or the like; normal native intelligence.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Origin: 1525–35; trans. of L sénsus commūnis, itself trans. of Gk koin aísthésis]**

I think most of us would agree, it's "common sense" to follow the rules that most religions and civilizations follow (No killing, No prostituting, No stealing, No cheating, etc). But how does common sense turn into that "specialized knowledge or training"? I think it comes from understanding God. And religion can help you gain the knowledge and training to begin to attempt to do that. Of course, I personally believe that Islam, and Shia Islam specifically, is the best way.

What do you believe? How do you decide what is good? What is common sense?

I know a Muslim woman who wears a headscarf. A stranger approached her in a public mall and after some trivial dispute on proper play-area behavior for children, the stranger pointed at the Muslim woman's headscarf and said,
"You have no common sense."

I would ask that stranger woman why wearing a headscarf is against common sense. I would love to know what makes her believe that, and what makes her believe it was necessary to tell the Muslim woman that. The stranger woman claimed she was not being prejudice. I would love to know what makes her believe that, indeed.

I look in the mirror and say:
Be Good.
Know that all Good comes from God.
Keep learning.

I'm Nobody

At one of the wedding festivities I recently attended, a female Muslim friend of mine who had not seen me in a long time (and does not wear a headscarf) asked me when I had started wearing the scarf. I was surprised that she asked because I forget that it wasn't long ago that I did not wear it. Anyway, I said, "About two months." And then I went on to tell her how religous my husband is and how he encouraged me to wear it, and how some other girls in the community wear it so that encouraged me as well, and how my husband is getting more involved in our local Muslim community, so I figured it was a good time to start wearing the scarf. As she answered me with phrases like, "Oh, yeah, we try to be more involved too, my husband..." I became aware that I might come across as "bragging" about my religiousness, or making her feel self-conscious---afterall, her hair was styled--no scarf. And I was surrounded by other Muslim-borm females in beautiful, flowing, curly, straight, colored, long, and short hair...in eye catching form figuring clothes. So I tried to regroup and say, "but it is very difficult...". And when she finally graciously ended the conversation by saying, "yea, it's a good thing," I felt aware that I need to be careful as to not come across as "holier than thou," because I am far far far from perfectly religious. This headscarf is sending a message, yet the message is received differently by each receiver.

Hmm...

Now that I wear the headscarf and now that I've attended a few parties where born-Muslims ladies are all dressed-up and have began to notice their attire in contrast to my new wardrobe, I sometimes feel embarassed for my old pre-headscarf self. And even though I have always been lazy about all that girly stuff (hair styles, make-up types, clothing trends, manicures, etc.)...I was still totally oblivious to the comformity of dressing-up for parties--totally wanting to look young and perky and beautiful (tight clothes usually did the trick). So now when I see those dolled-up girls...I see them as being foolish. So then I feel relieved and proud that I'm no longer a part of that "flaunt it" group. But then it does not add up...why should I feel proud? Afterall, I still desire to look pretty and put-together through my clothing...I still wear make-up to beautify my face...I am still them...I am still me...I am still vain.

"Pride defeats its own end, by bringing the man who seeks esteem and reverence into contempt."
Henry Bolingbroke

There were a few Muslim ladies at the wedding parties wearing headscaves and long, loose, plain-colored abayas/jackets/jilbabs....one lady wearing all black...and none of them wearing make-up. It's not like they were completely drab. Their fabrics might have been expensive, the jackets tailored well, the headscarf perfectly matching the rest of the outfit.

Hmm...

So I think there is something dignified in dressing-up...nicely...but who am I to judge what's naughty or nice? I'm nobody.

Bursting at the "Seems"

The other day, it seemed that a lady in a passing car was yelling something at me and my husband and it seemed to me it was something hateful and could only be because of our headgear. Now, my husband says he didn't notice anyone yelling. And I'm not even sure what she was saying or who she was yelling at. Still, just the fleeting thought that she was bashing us made my heart sink. I felt misunderstood, victimized, and scared. Thankfully, it seems that yelling lady incident was not about what was on our heads, but it was probably just in my head.

Then later...

We got to the store. We saw a Muslim lady and her husband getting into their car. My husband said "As-salam-o-alaykum" to the man, and he seemed to responded hesitantly while the wife did not turn around. Then we saw some other hijabis but they didn't seem to notice us...

Now, it's not uncommon for us to greet other Muslims based on our headgear/hijab identification as Muslims. It's nice. But sometimes it can be strained and akward also. When the other Muslim seems to look away or ignore me, it makes me wonder...why? In a way, I understand it. Sometimes we just want to go about our business, not bother with being friendly, especially if we are not of the habit of doing so. Sometimes we're just not expecting so see another Muslim, so we just look away, not knowing what to do exactly.

Anyway...that's that.

Now I'm thinking about this other "issue" which seems to be part of the headscarf experience. So, of course, "hijab" is not just a headscarf, it means acting and thinking and dressing overall with modesty. And I've been reminded that among the Muslim women who cover, it seems there is some judgement-like thinking and chatter going on...

For example, in addition to my scarf, I have usually been wearing loose pants and a long sleeve shirt that hits me just at hip level....Some Muslims will say proper hijab should include the shirt covering your entire backside when worn with pants or skirt. Still, some Muslims will say, proper hijab means wearing the long, loose, jacket-dress called an abaya or jilbab. Some will say, proper hijab includes covering the feet, or just the top of the foot. Some will say there is no place for "fashion" in proper hijab. Still others will say proper hijab means nothing tight fitting, especially at the backside or the bust, you know... BUSTing at the seams... ;-) The photos above illustrate my examples.

Many Muslim women do not wear make-up as part of proper hijab. Some do not wear jewelry. And some believe that plucking/waxing/shaving body hair such as eyebrows is anti-hijab.

A lot of these differences depend on the type of sect one belongs to. Shia and Sunni scholars/schools of thougts may differ on what exactly proper hijab is. Still, some of the differences are cultural and personal and circumstantial. The details may seem silly. Some details are silly. But that's the fun of believing in things, in laws, in codes. Fun Fun.

I fit in somewhere in there somewhere sometimes sort of. I will wear brown lipstick when I go out to the store. I will wear make-up if I go to a formal party. I will wear a long necklace and bracelets. I was wearing flip flops until last week when I was told that my particular sect of Islam considers covering the top of the foot as part of proper hijab. I thought the whole foot could hang on out there. And maybe it still can. I haven't done my proper research into the matter just yet. I know I don't have it completely covered yet.

So I hope no other hijabi seems me and thinks, "she's not wearing proper hijab," but I'm sure they are. Seems like they just might...